Chris Devlin has a bad night.

My friend Chris sent me these sad words:




The other night was...

Well, It started off pretty good. I played some new songs no one cared about. The new Janet Jackson and the new E 40. I played the begining of Get Naked by Britany Spears and then switched over to Hold On by Holy Ghost (just before Brittany started to "sing") when I was approached with my first request.

"Can you play better music?" .

I admit I was taken aback. Not only had i kind of been keeping it new I also was adding in little treats for the 18+ crowd. I didnt know what to say.

After deciding not to say "FUCK OFF!", I replied "I, I thought I was but, uh what do you want to hear?"

She looked up and said, " Do you have any P-Funk?".

BRNN BRRRNNN BRNNN (airhorn sound in my face).

"Wow", I thought. I almost went %$#@& on that girl and she actually had a pretty good request.

"Sure " I replied.

I knew she wanted Flashlight but i was gonna test her. I didnt go too deep but just deep enough. Knee Deep drops. She dances but knows no words, not even, "i need a freak" or "with meeeeeee ".
TURD SPLASH.

So a little later, a friend who I am Djing with tells me that it's "time to get them dancing".
It was at this point that i realised I am completly disconnected from this crowd that I want to leave. Actually leave. Bass in your face means PEACE see you later. These MFs dont like the Eli Cromeo remix (featuring the one and only Paytrick) or a Todd Terry disco edit, and is this my fault?

I grabbed the mic, " Yo! Turds on the dance floor its 11:15"

No, i didnt do that but i wanted to.

I just said, "alright you play, im gonna get a drink"

I play a few more songs , some new stuff off of this re-edit EP we are putting out, the crowd gets excited , all is well.
EXCEPT FOR THE FACT THAT TO SWITCH OUT BETWEEN ME AND THE OTHER DJ THE SOUND GUY PUTS ON A SONG ON IN THE HOUSE IN THE MIDDLE OF MY MIX...everyone dances akward and looks up......Douche chill.

So I get a kinda mad and go get a drink. I see a familiar face in the back of the club, and i go lament the event.

I tell him how lame that was, and that, "it does'nt matter how many people are in the crowd , cause man, even if there is one other dj it matters, you know, cause they tell somebody and then you dont get that gig playing tambourine and singing catch phrases."

I said some drunken shit like that, which was supposed to be funny. Mike didnt really hear me but he got the picture, and could easily see that i was a sad pony. He chuckled, then introduced me to Frank White. A DJ, from Boston who I was supposed to play with in MIami... douche chill.

This guy is great though. Laughing it up and buying me shots to drink away the pain. Woops, now Im wasted and bitter and i have to go DJ again.

I start off in the pocket. Im doin it man. This lasts for about 10 minutes.

TURD SPLASH number 2.

I catch some bullshit dust on the needle, and after this i can't recover. Im mixing out of verses and just barely, barely keeping the wheels on the track. The went off a few times, I think. I dont know, no i know, but it's a blur. It was bad man. Soul crushing, go back to painting interiors, and bar-backing type shit.

I get off and go talk to the dudes in back. They are supportive and understand my situation and frustration.

"We are going to get you drunk " Frank White declares.

Funny thing is, Im drunk now. I don't need any more booze. This was the start of the problem, not to mention I really can't drink like i used to.

"Ok, Great." i reply.

We go to this terrible bar with mean ass dudes on duty. They ain't nice and Frank doesnt like it. They are pretty fat and we decide if it goes down we can probably handle our buisness. (upon recollection..This is probably not true) but digress. We order "roxycottontail" shots, and call Roxycottontail while we are doing them. Seemed like a good idea at the time!

We pretty much get asked to leave and proceed to the 7 11 for snacks. After a long deliberation and purchasing endeavour we head for the door.

"Dam that chip display is just asking for it Frank" someone says.

"you got video?" asks Frank

"no, man picture though" Mike says

And he's off. Frank does a back flop into the chips. Fucking hilarious. The guy working at the shop had walked out just before the performance and walked back in just as we were leaving. Man that shit was funny . I feel bad about it now, real bad and i should have cleaned up those chips and paid for them. I guess you have to write some stuff off though... It was one of those nights.